Do you find yourself fearful of the unknown?
What is fear
Firstly it is important for me to talk about what fear actually is, as most people believe that fear is being scared, for example doing a sky dive kind of fear.
The reality is, fear is an emotion that comes up within the body when it needs to protect itself from danger. The deeper awareness of fear along with an understanding of Trauma changes the whole concept of 'fear'.
The body is incredibly smart and from very early years of our life so many of us experience trauma in ways you would not deem obvious. Most people's understanding of Trauma is something like a car crash, extreme violent situations, etc etc. Gabor Mate describes Trauma in a beautiful way “is not what happens to you; it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you … It is not the blow on the head, but the concussion I get.” That is a whole other blog, but in relation to fear you get the drift.
So when we experience trauma in our early years, that can affect our nervous system in so many ways, which then shows up in life in various situations. One of them being fearful of the unknown. See so many of the population like to be in 'control' because that way we feel 'safe' ( also a trauma response' ). I see it so much with my work, whether it be stepping outside their comfort zone, making decisions, listening to their desires, diving into their emotional and physical body, the list goes on.
Some other ways fears can show up for example, would be not opening your heart to building connections, this may look like you unconsciously self sabotaging, overthinking, or even to create a disagreement, this would be the unknown of healthy love, maybe you didn't receive love an affection from your caregivers.
Most people do not want to do the inner work because they are fearful of what comes up, so they often feel it is best to keep it all in and continue burying it. Unfortunately you can only bury it for so long, it is not going anywhere and it will show up in some of the following ways; depression, disease, physical pain, illness, anxiety, chronic illness and more.
How it shows up
I have had numerous clients come to sessions and then stop, through their sessions it is extremely evident that their emotional & physical body are holding so much trauma, however because they have never been held in a space to feel and explore they shut down, run away and bury it, instead of continuing to journey inwards. I have also witnessed this with people who know they have so much going on but don't want to take the first step into the unknown.
The unknown can be scary, I feel it, I have been there, unfortunately my body chose for me and I had a breakdown, which had me feel that extreme uncomfortable and unknown. It is from there I saw that the work was needed. The unknown needed to become the known, for me to break into the layers and break them down. The beauty is when you dive in and chose yourself, you know that each part of the journey will throw all sorts in your way including the unknown, the fear, the emotions, the doubt, the uncertainty and so much more. Running away is not the answer, I also tried to do that years ago, it didn't work.
Maybe some questions for you to explore could be....
What unknown situations do you resist going into?
What comes up for you when you ask yourself why?
What is it you are actually fearful of?
What feelings/sensations come up in the body when you think about stepping into that 'unknown' ?
Taking 20 minutes to sit with them questions and really be honest with yourself will create a beautiful opportunity for some exploration.
In summary, the unknown is scary I get it, I see you, however losing your health is scarier. So what will you chose?
If any of this has resonated with you, I would fully recommend seeking professional support, advice and guidance. There are an extremely large amount of modalities available these days.
Gabor Mate also has some great content and reference to studies around fear, trauma and healing, simply typing in his name in YouTube will bring up an abundance of interesting interviews and content.
Being Well Holistic Health
Writer - Kayleigh Herbert